Untitled

[5.18.1990]

She is naked.

She lies on top of him, kissing him hard. He caresses her back with one hand and strokes her between her legs with the other. She has already told him they can’t “do anything” because she is trying to stay faithful to Steven, and as long as they don’t “do anything,” then she can go back home with a clear conscience. He finds the statement terribly frustrating and terribly exciting. A barely audible voice inside him tells him to get out of this relationship, that he’ll never be anything more than a diversion to this girl. But he’s uncontrollably aroused – even more so when she says “no.” And so now they lie naked together; he strokes her, and wishes he could be inside her.

The phone rings in the bedroom across the hall. She gets up to answer it. He watches her ass as she runs out of the room. She comes back a few minutes later, running toward him, and he watches her breasts bounce with each step, and he watches her perfect triangle, and her smile, and her eyes. She leaps on top of him again, and they continue where they left off.

It is a scene he replays often, sometimes several times a day. He wishes he could erase it, but it crowds out all his other thoughts.

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