A strange little slip of paper I found a while back, and which I was inspired to post here because I’m listening to an archived Jean Shepherd show about crazy people handing out little pieces of paper warning of the end of the world:

FUTURE ALERT

THERE’S A LOT OF TALK ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT ALREADY HAVING TINY COMPUTER CHIPS TO IMPLANT INTO THE HUMAN BODY THAT WOULD KEEP TRACK OF EVERYTHING THE PERSON DOES, BUT THEY’RE STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO MAKE PEOPLE ACCEPT IT. WELL, I SUGGEST THEY IMPLANT IT IN EVERY GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL, BANK AND CORPORATE EXECUTIVE AND SEE HOW IT WORKS. LET THE LITTLE GUY KEEP TRACK OF ALL THE ACTIVITIES OF THOSE BIG GUYS. IF IT’S SO GREAT AND NOT DEHUMANIZING THEY SHOULD BE GLAD TO DO IT. THIS IS A CASE WHERE THE ELITE SHOULD BE THE GUINEA PIGS. THEY HAVE THE MOST TO KEEP TRACK OF. YOU CAN’T ALWAYS WIMP OUT AND GO AFTER THE LOWEST PEOPLE IN SOCIETY WHERE THERE IS THE LEAST RESISTANCE.

TO THE CEREBRALLY CHALLENGED: (ISN’T THAT THE POLITICALLY CORRECT TERM FOR STUPID PEOPLE, OR THE DEAD WHO ARE STILL BREATHING?)

BEWARE OF ANY NATIONAL ID OR HEALTH CARD, FOR THAT WILL BE THEIR FIRST FOOR IN THE DOOR. THEN THEY’LL KEEP ADDING TO IT UNTIL YOU’LL NEED “THE CARD” FOR DOING EVERYTHING. THEN, YOU JUST KNOW PEOPLE ARE GOING TO LOSE THEIR CARDS. NOW COME THE ULTIMATE SOLUTION, THE COMPUTER CHIP PLANTED UNDER YOUR SKIN. THEY FIGURE THEY CAN DEPEND ON EVERY COUCH-POTATO AND MTV ROBOT TO SAY: “THAT’S COOL DUDE,” AND BUSINESSMAN TO SAY: “GEE, THAT’S GREAT! NOW I WON’T NEED THIS WALLET FULL OF CARDS!” BIG-BAD-BROTHER WILL BE DOING EVERYTHING BUT CHANGING YOUR DIAPERS.

IT SEEMS IT’S MOSTLY RELIGIOUS PEOPLE WHO OPPOSE THIS. THERE WOULD BE TOTAL CONTROL AND NO PRIVACY FOR ANYONE. THEIR CLAIM THAT IT WOULD REDUCE CRIME AND ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION ARE, OF COURSE, BOGUS. IT MAY ONLY HELP THE ULTIMATE CRIMINAL (THE GOVERNMENT) ELIMINATE SOME OF THEIR COMPETITION. BOTH REPUBLICAN AND DEMOCRATS FAVOR THIS. THAT’S WHY WE NEED TO ELECT ONLY PATRIOTIC AND PRO-CONSTITUTIONAL CANDIDATES WHO BELIEVE IN OUR NATIONAL SOVREIGNTY AND DO NOT FAVOR A ONE-WORLD GOVERNMENT.

THINK LOCAL—ACT LOCAL—SCREW GLOBAL
(UNLESS YOU WANT TO PAY A GLOBAL INCOME TAX TO PROP UP THIRD WORLD DICTATORS)

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