Chapter 1: The golden age of spam?

I got an even dozen pieces of spam with good, inspired subject lines in 2006 and 2007 (and one in 2003). Since September of last year, though, the spammers seem to have run out of creative steam. Most of the spam I’ve seen lately either has no subject or has a few random words that conjure up nothing special in my imagination. I have saved emails with the following subject lines, which really hit the mark in terms of quality:

1. infected hydrogen atom (10/1/03)
2. absorbent cola (5/19/06)
3. outlawed pain (7/22/06)
4. by comb of rennet tontine (8/1/06)
5. grown-up scratch (10/21/06)
6. sprawled patty (11/5/06)
7. bohemian tornado (1/21/07)
8. fried razor blade (1/21/07)
9. moronic light bulb (1/25/07)
10. No numb is athwart (4/3/07)
11. dreamless medicines – “highness pills FREE with any order” (8/10/07)
12. watch be mustard togs (9/14/07)

Chapter 2: Creative filter dodges:

a) -En large your p ‘e’n’i’s up to 10 cm or up to 4 inches!

b) P -EN _IS!

c) Gain 2+ Inches In P _is Length.

d) V _I > _A -G- _R -A – $1.77

e) A big p _enis has a lot of benefits and no downside that I can think of

I am considering having a t-shirt printed up that reads as follows:

“I am per _Fect’L’y sat- isf’>ied w^th th# s(i~z=e of m_Y P_e& n—I$, @Nd I d’o n.o/t N`e[ed V _I > _A -G- _R -A –